The Style of Courtship in the Philippines

  • 2019/06/26/
  • Blog

When it comes to courting a woman, Filipino is one of the best as I know. Filipino men are very serious and aggressive when courting women. They really work hard on it just to be sure the one they love will love them back. Before Filipino are very courageous and very romantic to their dear one. The courtship before and now have a lot of difference. In the Philippines, there are proper way and rules and standards on how to court a woman in a traditional way. A Filipino man suitor expresses his interest to a woman with a proper manner and respectful way. The Filipino man is gentlemen when they are courting a girl.

The Difference between Courtship Before and Now in the Philippines

Courtship Before

  1. Filipino men court a girl before in a way like doing a poem to a girl. They go to the house of the girl and sing them a song they called it ” harana” in Tagalog or sometimes they help the parents of the girl to household things like helping them to fetch some water and bring it inside the house of the girl it is called ” paninilbihan” in Tagalog.
  2. A Filipino who wants to court a Filipina girl can go to the house of a girl and give respect to the family of the woman they love.
  3. Before Filipino court a girl through a letter. They write love letters on what they really feel for a girl they like or admire.
  4. A Filipino suitor expresses his love for a woman in a traditional way of courting. First, they want the woman to know them well and build a friendship before they court them. So that they will know each of them before they go into a deep relationship.
  5. The Filipino man who courts a Filipina girl starts with a friendly date with the series of their friends.
  6. Filipino way courting before is very timid. You will know that a man will court you by giving gifts and sending flowers and chocolates.
  7. Filipino male will approach a girl they want to court in a friendly manner and ask if they can visit the girl’s house.
  8. Filipino man courtship style is very traditional, they also courting the parents of the girl they love before they can start courting the girl.
  9. Before courting a Filipino woman is not easy some Filipino parent let their daughter have dates with their boyfriend if the have chaperon
  10. Before Filipino men are a bit shy to show their feelings to the one they love. They sometimes called “torpe” because they don’t express their love and affection to a girl immediately even if they really like the girl.
  11. The courtship before needs a bridge or someone who will accompany them to the girl they really like or admire. Filipino men cannot go straight to court a girl without the help of their closest friends.
  12. Traditionally Filipino court a Filipina women with soo much respect and honor. Filipino men are very consistent when courting their loved one. Filipino men are gentlemen and kind not only to the girl they courted but also to the whole family of the girl.

Courtship Now

At this days courtship is just one click only because of the modern days. With the use of modern technology like gadgets or computer there are many people who fall in love with their partners through online dating. No need to see each other in person and no need to know each other well before they can be together as a couple.

  1. At present courtship now is more on flirting rather than showing how serious they are to the girl they love. Filipino man now is very vocal and verbal if they like a person. They are intended to show affection right away so that they will know if the girl like them also.
  2. Modern courtship is now dating a two couple even if they really don’t know each other well.
  3. Filipino man court a girl through texting or calling and not visiting the house of the girl.
  4. The most relationship now starts with just a few dates and call not even know the parents of both side or even they don’t know where the girl house is.
  5. Some relationship also starts in online and they communicate through a website online only.
  6. At present at the very young ages, Filipino now know how to show there love to a girl and have a relationship. They are too aggressive and to show their affection to the girl.
  7. Today Filipino men fall in love with the face and body of the girl not knowing the attitude and background of the girl they fall in love.
  8. Modern Filipina let the man court them even in the street or at the party. They start dating even if they are only physically attracted to each other not really in love with each other.
  9. The relationship now can easily be broken because it also easily have it. Filipino man before waited for so long until the woman they love gives the love also to them. That is why the relationship before ending up in marriage and build a family because two people have love, respect, and admiration for each other. They have trust and known each other for so long before they get married and build their own families.
  10. The influence of modern technology can really give a negative result in terms of dating and relationship. When a relationship starts online then the foundation of it is very light and really damage the future of the person without her or his knowledge.

Advantage of Traditional Courtship

Most Filipino parents would still want their children to be courted inside the house. That is the way of traditional courtship in the Philippines, However, at this present Filipino don’t usually do it because of modern and liberal-minded. They prefer to meet up somewhere else instead and ask a girl if they like them to. There are many advantages to Filipino the way they court women before. It also for the good of both side that traditional courtship is better than now. Courtship in the Philippines before is awesome. Filipino court a girl they love with soo much respect and honesty. Their intention was pure and certainly good to serve and protect the women they love. They can wait for for a long time just to show the girl that they really deserve to be love and trust too. Filipino must have perseverance and required hard work and commitment when courting a woman before.

Traditional courtship is always the best one. And for all parents they really want their children to do a traditional way of courtship to their loved one. They believe that easy to get is easy to forget, that the relationship will soon finish if both sides don’t spend too much time to now each of them. They cannot have time to know the like and dislike of them if they just go to a relationship that easily. Filipino traditional way of courtship is that the girl they love will introduce them to the parents or both parties will know that their children are seriously like or in love with each other that they really want their family about the relationship they will build in. Filipina women before are playing hard to get, they are modest, shy, and have a good upbringing. That is why men are very eager and seriously doing their best just to hear the word “yes” or “I love you too” to the women they really admired, love and want to bring to church in the future. Traditional courtship before has, love, patience, kindness, and respect. Compare to these days that not only man hurt the woman but also the woman can break the heart of a man. Before courtship for Filipino is not easy for them they do the best effort just to show the woman they love how serious they are and how patient they are. But after the long waited of courting to the woman they love and they become girlfriend and boyfriend the next stage is they become engaged and followed by marriage. That is how they love and they really serious to the woman they love. Most relationships before falling into marriage and they start to build their own family. The Filipino men before are very gentlemen and respect to the family of the woman they courted.

Different Type of Traditional Courtship

  1. Some types of traditional courtship in the Philippines is they serenading the women.
  2. Filipino courted a woman through sing romantic song
  3. Some traditional way is formed by a middle man or negotiator or in Tagalog they called it ” tulay”
  4. Filipino also write a poem or give a letter to the women they loved.
  5. Filipino also serve the family of the girl or it is called “paninilbihan”
  6. Traditional courtship is formed by asking the parent of the girl first before they can court and visit the house of the girl. This way is the sign of respect to the family of the girl.


In the Philippines, courting is one way of showing that you like a girl. And most Filipino want the traditional way of courting to their daughter. They believe that courting using the traditional way is still the best it shows how Filipino man loves the girl if they have perseverance, patience and respect not only to the girl they love but also respect to the family of the girl. Traditional and modern courtship has a different way of types. Modern courtship does not depend on feeling it is formed by physical attraction first before it can be love. Filipino women deserve to treat well and be loved. Because once they fall in love with their men.

Traditional courting can boost the dignity not only the women but also all Filipino people. It means that even if we live in this modern world we still preserve the traditions and values of Filipino. Having a good heart, doing good work, being patience, respects people, and have patience and perseverance is one key to have a successful marriage and relationship in the future.